About Em

Reader. Struggling writer. Movie & TV junkie. Geek. Chocoholic. Loves all things small and furry.

Mini-Rant

So, there’s a thing going on over at Facebook at the moment which is frustrating me somewhat. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. That’s good, we should raise awareness about these things.

But! And this is a big but, I’ve been receiving messages on Facebook saying to publish a post with a single heart, but no comment – to raise breast cancer awareness. I’m sorry, but how am I raising awareness exactly if I can’t explain what the heart is for?

This isn’t the first time this happens of course, you see it every now and then. Post a fruit/the colour of your something/whatever random thing they think of – but don’t tell anyone!

I thought we were raising awareness! To do so, you need to tell someone. Me posting a heart on my Facebook page does nothing. The whole point of raising awareness is talking about it.

Or even better, go donate to the cause.

Rant over.

Biggest Time Sinks

I think we all have our own things that we do instead of that writing that we ought to be doing. In this I’m not going to include the obvious things like working, sleeping, eating and keeping the house tidy (in all honesty, I tend to find ways to procrastinate these too!).

Gaming

I’m admittedly a bit of a gamer, not as much these days as I used to be – but I still play a fair bit. The games vary a bit, but the longest standing one is probably World of Warcraft. I even used to run a WoW blog for a few years, but as my gaming slowed down, so did my blogging about it. Other games I play are Dragon Age, Diablo, Stardew Valley and a bunch of little ones on Steam when I have the time.

TV-series/Movies

I probably watch more series than movies these days, but I do love a good movie and go to the cinema to see some of the ones I’m really interested in. TV-series are so good these days though, and there are so many of them. Too many! Services like Netflix, Amazon etc. have made series and movies so accessible, that it’s easy to waste hours binging on a new show.

Internet

No surprises there. I can easily waste hours just browsing the web, checking blogs, updating my own, perusing the latest posts on Facebook. Oh, and what’s new on my favourite YouTube channels? I also use the internet to keep in touch with my family in Sweden, so in fairness – I do love having access to it. When living away from your family it makes the world seem a little smaller.

What are your biggest procrastination fiends / time sinks?

Blog Update

After lots of back and forth, I decided to move everything from my old blog to this one. It’s too much work to update two different blogs, and I just can’t do it. It’s not like I’m a prolific blogger in any case, and two blogs is just not a possibility for me.

Originally this blog was meant to be mainly for writing, but I am someone who likes to overshare write about my every day life, so I struggle to not do that. So it’s better to just have everything in one place. The name of this blog makes more sense as well. As much as I love the name “Carpe Effing Diem”, I think this one is more me. I’ve never really been one to seize the day as it were, I’m a worrier and someone that has to think about things before I do them. Preferably for days or weeks.

The Struggling Writer sounds a lot more like me. I am want to be a writer, and I struggle daily. Not just with writing, but just about everything, really.

So from nowon, this will be the blog I use, where I will share things about my life and my struggles with writing, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia and everything else.

I’ve just imported everything from my old blog, so while I sort through about 10 years of blogging, it may look a bit disorganised, but I will get there, I promise!

So, what changed?

I’ve been thinking back to how I was writing before I got sick ten years ago (and everything fell to pieces). What has changed? Why am I struggling with writing to the extent that I am?

Ignoring the fact that I have chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia, why can’t I pull myself together to do these things? Or is that the reason in itself? It can’t be. I know people who suffer from these things and they do get writing done.

Working full time for the last year and a bit for the first time since before I got sick is definitely not helping. I have limited energy, and currently it feels like all of it is going towards getting to work and doing my job. When I’m home, very little – if anything – is left. Not working, however, is not an option – because of that pesky detail of paying bills.

After a busy week, I just spent a whole day in bed. So energy levels definitely aren’t at their best at the moment.

The one thing other than my illnesses that I know is different is that I had a friend/colleague that read my chapters as I finished them. I think on some level that helped me feel motivated to keep going. Writing a book, as any writer knows, is a sludge and a rather lonely process. You have no idea if what you’re churning out is terrible or at least decent. (Most likely terrible, there’s a reason there’s a revision process!)

Still, having that one person who read each chapter as I wrote them – it kept me going. And it gave me an idea if I was on the right track, because she’d question things if they didn’t make sense and some things I could then nip in the bud instead of possibly missing them during the revisions/editing. I definitely miss having that.

None of this helps with my lack of energy, and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Truth is, I have no solution, I think maybe I just needed to vent.

If you have a chronic illness of some kind, how do you get through it and find the energy/ability to write?

Monday Movie – Retro TV Themes

It’s Monday! Let’s “celebrate” with a YouTube clip! This one is from Screen Junkies, where they’ve had artists make new themes for TV shows. The Michael Bolton one at the end is definitely my favourite. If you don’t have time to watch the whole thing (honestly, the first few aren’t nearly as good), skip to 3:12 for the Bolton bit.

Instagram Roundup (August)

Here are the few photos I’ve published on Instagram throughout August, all of them taken in Sweden.

Early morning on my way to the airport to return to England.

The lovely piece of cake I had on my birthday.

View of the lake in my old hometown.

A photo from the evening I was down on the west coast.

Another view of the lake from my old hometown.

A view of the other lake by my hometown.

 

Monthly Update (August)

August went by with a swish, and I can’t believe it’s already September. Where has this year gone? Wasn’t it just Christmas?

I spent half of August in Sweden visiting family, which was absolutely lovely, but means that I’ve done pretty much nothing else. The time before and after I was working my busiest weeks, which means I was either sleeping or working.

Still, while this summer has been difficult due to me having had nearly zero energy, it’s been really nice having family visiting, and then going back home to Sweden to see everyone who couldn’t visit. I did give myself July and August off from writing due to the energy issues mentioned, but it is now September which means that I need to find some energy somewhere and get going. I want this book revised and ready!

I hope everyone else has had a lovely summer, and I will try to get back to more regular updates again.

WIP Wednesday

Once a month, I will share a piece of my current Work in Progress, and I arbitrarily decided that it will be the third Wednesday of every month. Because logic is over rated.

This is a scene from a Fantasy Romance novella that I’m planning to start publishing on Wattpad in July or August (if things go according to plan). The main characters are the King (Arain) and Queen (Shae) who have a marriage of convenience, but have been thrown together due to circumstance and are getting to know each other.

This excerpt is from the first chapter when they are in a carriage on their way home from a visit to another kingdom.

 

“Actually,” he said. “No. I’m not going to do that. You’re stuck in a carriage with me, so I think this is the perfect time to chat.”

Shae smiled pleasantly. “Your Majesty, we chat all the time.”

Arain shook his head. “No, and I’ve told you to call me Arain. I hardly think that discussing the weather and if the steak is too salty is considered a proper conversation.”

“Arain…” It sounded far too intimate on her tongue. There was a reason she never called him by name. “My King,” she amended, making him scowl. “What would you like to discuss?”

Frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair again, mussing it up. “I don’t know,” he complained. “Anything. Everything. Don’t you think it’s strange that we’ve been married nearly ten years, and we barely know each other?”

Part of her wanted to argue. The part of her who knew how he would tussle their son’s hair every night before bed. The part that knew how his nose would crinkle when something displeased him. How his laughter was so contagious when he found something amusing that she had to restrain herself from laughing too, even if she didn’t find it amusing herself. But the other part of her agreed with him, needed to agree with him.

“Ours is a marriage of convenience,” Shae reminded him, her voice not unkind. “It doesn’t require conversation. It’s what we both wanted.”

Arain looked at her for a moment without saying anything, making her squirm in her seat.

“Is it?” he finally asked quietly.

She was saved from having to answer by the arrow that suddenly came flying through the open carriage window.

A Red Rose (part 2)

An old story, written a very long time ago. Published for the Repository, so that I can collect all the old writing in one place. Sequel to A White Rose.

You can read Part 1 here.

Ereptus looked at the sleeping form in the bed from where he sat on a chair by the window. She was in an uneasy sleep, tossing and turning, now and then mumbling something under her breath. As if bewitched he stood up and walked over to the bed to get a better look at her. He hunched down by her side, stroking an errant lock of hair away from her fair brow. She was so beautiful that it almost hurt him to look at her. He couldn’t help but wonder how he had ever been able to leave her all those years ago. But of course, she’d only been a teenager, even if she had already shown the promise of the beauty she had become.

Suddenly she sat up, still half asleep, looking around the room with sleepy, yellowish eyes.

“Ereptus?” she mumbled.

“I’m still here, pet,” he said softly, stroking her cheek with his hand.

She seemed to accept that and settled back down, a soft smile on her lips as she went back to sleep. Ereptus watched her while she slept, his mind trying to figure out what was going on. He’d returned because of what he had explained away as a nightmare, but he’d come just in time to save her from some thugs planning on taking her to someone. He simply couldn’t figure out to whom; the young woman in the bed didn’t look like she could have any enemies.

After some time he finally gave up and settled down in a corner of her room, leaning against the wall to get a few hours of sleep before dawn.

***** Continue reading

Instagram Roundup (July)

My Instagram photos from July. Not a very busy month for photos from me, it appears!

My very yummy Banana Split dessert when out with dad+family.

Swanage beach. Again.

We ordered a Playstation 4 bundle – but something rather crucial was missing (the actual console!).

My cat making it difficult to use the PC, as per usual.