About Emily Morgans

Reader. Struggling writer. Movie & TV junkie. Geek. Chocoholic. Loves all things small and furry.

Blog Update

After lots of back and forth, I decided to move everything from my old blog to this one. It’s too much work to update two different blogs, and I just can’t do it. It’s not like I’m a prolific blogger in any case, and two blogs is just not a possibility for me.

Originally this blog was meant to be mainly for writing, but I am someone who likes to overshare write about my every day life, so I struggle to not do that. So it’s better to just have everything in one place. The name of this blog makes more sense as well. As much as I love the name “Carpe Effing Diem”, I think this one is more me. I’ve never really been one to seize the day as it were, I’m a worrier and someone that has to think about things before I do them. Preferably for days or weeks.

The Struggling Writer sounds a lot more like me. I am want to be a writer, and I struggle daily. Not just with writing, but just about everything, really.

So from nowon, this will be the blog I use, where I will share things about my life and my struggles with writing, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia and everything else.

I’ve just imported everything from my old blog, so while I sort through about 10 years of blogging, it may look a bit disorganised, but I will get there, I promise!

So, what changed?

I’ve been thinking back to how I was writing before I got sick ten years ago (and everything fell to pieces). What has changed? Why am I struggling with writing to the extent that I am?

Ignoring the fact that I have chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia, why can’t I pull myself together to do these things? Or is that the reason in itself? It can’t be. I know people who suffer from these things and they do get writing done.

Working full time for the last year and a bit for the first time since before I got sick is definitely not helping. I have limited energy, and currently it feels like all of it is going towards getting to work and doing my job. When I’m home, very little – if anything – is left. Not working, however, is not an option – because of that pesky detail of paying bills.

After a busy week, I just spent a whole day in bed. So energy levels definitely aren’t at their best at the moment.

The one thing other than my illnesses that I know is different is that I had a friend/colleague that read my chapters as I finished them. I think on some level that helped me feel motivated to keep going. Writing a book, as any writer knows, is a sludge and a rather lonely process. You have no idea if what you’re churning out is terrible or at least decent. (Most likely terrible, there’s a reason there’s a revision process!)

Still, having that one person who read each chapter as I wrote them – it kept me going. And it gave me an idea if I was on the right track, because she’d question things if they didn’t make sense and some things I could then nip in the bud instead of possibly missing them during the revisions/editing. I definitely miss having that.

None of this helps with my lack of energy, and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Truth is, I have no solution, I think maybe I just needed to vent.

If you have a chronic illness of some kind, how do you get through it and find the energy/ability to write?

Monday Movie – Retro TV Themes

It’s Monday! Let’s “celebrate” with a YouTube clip! This one is from Screen Junkies, where they’ve had artists make new themes for TV shows. The Michael Bolton one at the end is definitely my favourite. If you don’t have time to watch the whole thing (honestly, the first few aren’t nearly as good), skip to 3:12 for the Bolton bit.

Instagram Roundup (August)

Here are the few photos I’ve published on Instagram throughout August, all of them taken in Sweden.

Early morning on my way to the airport to return to England.

The lovely piece of cake I had on my birthday.

View of the lake in my old hometown.

A photo from the evening I was down on the west coast.

Another view of the lake from my old hometown.

A view of the other lake by my hometown.

 

Monthly Update (August)

August went by with a swish, and I can’t believe it’s already September. Where has this year gone? Wasn’t it just Christmas?

I spent half of August in Sweden visiting family, which was absolutely lovely, but means that I’ve done pretty much nothing else. The time before and after I was working my busiest weeks, which means I was either sleeping or working.

Still, while this summer has been difficult due to me having had nearly zero energy, it’s been really nice having family visiting, and then going back home to Sweden to see everyone who couldn’t visit. I did give myself July and August off from writing due to the energy issues mentioned, but it is now September which means that I need to find some energy somewhere and get going. I want this book revised and ready!

I hope everyone else has had a lovely summer, and I will try to get back to more regular updates again.

WIP Wednesday

Once a month, I will share a piece of my current Work in Progress, and I arbitrarily decided that it will be the third Wednesday of every month. Because logic is over rated.

This is a scene from a Fantasy Romance novella that I’m planning to start publishing on Wattpad in July or August (if things go according to plan). The main characters are the King (Arain) and Queen (Shae) who have a marriage of convenience, but have been thrown together due to circumstance and are getting to know each other.

This excerpt is from the first chapter when they are in a carriage on their way home from a visit to another kingdom.

 

“Actually,” he said. “No. I’m not going to do that. You’re stuck in a carriage with me, so I think this is the perfect time to chat.”

Shae smiled pleasantly. “Your Majesty, we chat all the time.”

Arain shook his head. “No, and I’ve told you to call me Arain. I hardly think that discussing the weather and if the steak is too salty is considered a proper conversation.”

“Arain…” It sounded far too intimate on her tongue. There was a reason she never called him by name. “My King,” she amended, making him scowl. “What would you like to discuss?”

Frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair again, mussing it up. “I don’t know,” he complained. “Anything. Everything. Don’t you think it’s strange that we’ve been married nearly ten years, and we barely know each other?”

Part of her wanted to argue. The part of her who knew how he would tussle their son’s hair every night before bed. The part that knew how his nose would crinkle when something displeased him. How his laughter was so contagious when he found something amusing that she had to restrain herself from laughing too, even if she didn’t find it amusing herself. But the other part of her agreed with him, needed to agree with him.

“Ours is a marriage of convenience,” Shae reminded him, her voice not unkind. “It doesn’t require conversation. It’s what we both wanted.”

Arain looked at her for a moment without saying anything, making her squirm in her seat.

“Is it?” he finally asked quietly.

She was saved from having to answer by the arrow that suddenly came flying through the open carriage window.

A Red Rose (part 2)

An old story, written a very long time ago. Published for the Repository, so that I can collect all the old writing in one place. Sequel to A White Rose.

You can read Part 1 here.

Ereptus looked at the sleeping form in the bed from where he sat on a chair by the window. She was in an uneasy sleep, tossing and turning, now and then mumbling something under her breath. As if bewitched he stood up and walked over to the bed to get a better look at her. He hunched down by her side, stroking an errant lock of hair away from her fair brow. She was so beautiful that it almost hurt him to look at her. He couldn’t help but wonder how he had ever been able to leave her all those years ago. But of course, she’d only been a teenager, even if she had already shown the promise of the beauty she had become.

Suddenly she sat up, still half asleep, looking around the room with sleepy, yellowish eyes.

“Ereptus?” she mumbled.

“I’m still here, pet,” he said softly, stroking her cheek with his hand.

She seemed to accept that and settled back down, a soft smile on her lips as she went back to sleep. Ereptus watched her while she slept, his mind trying to figure out what was going on. He’d returned because of what he had explained away as a nightmare, but he’d come just in time to save her from some thugs planning on taking her to someone. He simply couldn’t figure out to whom; the young woman in the bed didn’t look like she could have any enemies.

After some time he finally gave up and settled down in a corner of her room, leaning against the wall to get a few hours of sleep before dawn.

***** Continue reading

Instagram Roundup (July)

My Instagram photos from July. Not a very busy month for photos from me, it appears!

My very yummy Banana Split dessert when out with dad+family.

Swanage beach. Again.

We ordered a Playstation 4 bundle – but something rather crucial was missing (the actual console!).

My cat making it difficult to use the PC, as per usual.

A Red Rose (part 1)

An old story, written a very long time ago. Published for the Repository, so that I can collect all the old writing in one place. Sequel to A White Rose.

A dark shadow bent over the sleeping form of a young girl in bed, stroking away an errant lock of hair from her delicate brow. The girl was beautiful, looking restful in her sleep, unaware of the visitor in her simple room. Her skin was fair, with only a slight hint of a tan, a mass of tangled walnut brown hair spread out around her head on the bed. High cheekbones, a small, straight nose and arched eyebrows gave her an almost divine look, all perfect in its innocence. Slightly slanted eyes and pointed ears bore sign of her elfin heritage. A soft smile curled her lips as she dreamed of something undoubtedly pleasant.

The dark shadow carefully pulled the blanket down, revealing a pair of slender shoulders, and then put a hand inside its large cloak. The girl in the bed sighed in her sleep, causing the dark shadow to still for a moment, waiting to see if she would wake, but the girl remained asleep. Slowly the shadow withdrew a thin dagger from its robe and moved it toward the girl’s slender throat. The tip of the dagger came to rest against her neck, moving along her throat, almost caressing, without piercing the delicate skin.

Dark eyelashes fluttered over the girl’s cheek, and slowly she started to wake. Light green eyes, so pale they seemed yellow, widened as she spotted the intruder. Her mouth opened to scream, but was cut short as the lethal tip of the dagger struck down to draw blood.

With a start Ereptus jerked awake. The small room he’d taken at a local inn seemed to close in on him for a moment, until he was entirely awake. Shaking, he sat up and looked around. The room looked just as it had when he had gone to sleep; simple with a sturdy bed and a little cupboard with a washbowl on top. It was only a dream, yet it had seemed so real.

He ran a hand through his dark hair, vaguely registering that he’d been sweating, and stood to pace the small space of the room. There wasn’t an ounce of magic in his entire being. He was a simple soul living a rogue’s life. Yet he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had just had a premonition. He had been away too long. It was time for him to go back and face his inner demons. If for no other reason than to see her and make sure that she was still alive and well.

Although the sun had not yet shown its golden face Ereptus got dressed, packed his few belongings and left the inn. He stole a horse on a small farm outside the city and started his journey towards the city of Messina where he had once left the girl. He could only hope that she was still there. After all, it had been three years since he had last seen her.

***** Continue reading

Monthly Update

A day late since I usually post these on the last day of the month, but yesterday I didn’t spend any time at all behind the PC due to not feeling well, so today is the day!

Writing

I decided about halfway through July to give myself the summer off. Between work, family visits and my CFS/fibro acting up – I’m just not getting anywhere. And the more I push myself the worse I feel about failing. So I’m having July and August off, with my sights set on a fresh start in September.

#WIPjoy

I participated in the #WIPjoy hashtag on Twitter, my first ever Twitter event like that – and it was a lot of fun. It allowed me to find a lot of new people to follow and blogs to read. Always a good thing! If you want to see my answers, I posted them here on the blog as well.

Family Visit #2

Last month my sister and her family visited, in July it was my dad with his wife and my littlest brother. We had bad luck with the weather (again! It seems to be a trend with family visits this year), but still had a good time. We took a trip to Swanage, went shopping, and went out to dinner at a very tasty restaurant. I also took my dad’s wife to the cinema, and we saw the new Planet of the Apes movie.