Whinging

Since I got pregnant my CFS (chronic fatigue) seems to have gone into over drive. I have absolutely no energy, and all I do is work and sleep. I’ve barely spent time by the PC since a couple of months into the pregnancy, and I’m getting nothing done in regards to anything. This includes house chores, writing and everything else in life.

I talked to the doctor about it who agreed that I’m exhausted, but there’s nothing they can do about it. He offered to write a recommendation to have me switch from working nights to days, but I honestly don’t think that would help. I’d have to work more days per week to make up the hours, and it’s quite physical during the day. The other option, as he said, was to stop working. Which, sure, great – except I can’t afford it.

Still, I only have another four weeks to go now until I go on maternity leave, so I just have to make it until then.

I also found out recently that I have gestational diabetes, so no enjoying all my little pregnancy cravings. So far, I seem to be able to manage it with diet alone though, and I hope that will continue. It’s not easy to eat regularly and exercise when all you want to do is sleep, so I do worry a lot about it.

Anyway, that was me having a bit of a whinge. I think we all need it now and then.

2017 – A Look Back

With a new year having started, let’s have a look at what I was up to last year.

In February I left my job as a Teaching Assistant in a special needs school to work nights as a Support Worker for a former student of mine. Not sure if it was the best choice in hindsight, but I needed a change and this gave me one.

In March I had a miscarriage, and it was about as devastating as you might think. A few weeks after I ended up in the hospital for three days due to complications (an infection) from the miscarriage, and I was quite unhappy for some time.

In April I went back to Sweden for a holiday, celebrating Easter with my family. It was a lovely trip as always, but they never seem quite long enough.

In May we adopted our cat since I seemed to be suffering from empty nest-syndrome and needed a baby in the house. He was such an adorable little ball of fluff. We love him to bits, but in all honesty he’s grown up to be a bit of a prick.

In June the boyfriend and I went on our first holiday together that wasn’t either going to his family in England or my family in Sweden. We went to Spain, and spent a lovely week alone in a house with a private pool. It was amazing. We were also visited by my sister and her partner and little girl, which was a lot of fun.

In July my dad visited with his wife and my baby brother (who was approaching 8 at the time). We visited Swanage and mainly just hung out together and had a good time. That concluded the family visits for the year though, and I’m hoping to get some new visits this year again.

In August I spent two weeks back home in Sweden with my family, which was great. The weather wasn’t as awesome as I might have hoped, but it was still warm enough to enjoy some summer evenings out.

In October we had our bedroom re-painted, and it turned out really well!

In November we finally passed the first 20 weeks of our second pregnancy and could breathe a little easier after what had happened earlier in the year. We announced it on Facebook and it was suddenly official! I also visited Sweden again for a week since I realised I soon wouldn’t be allowed to fly, and it might be a while before I can go again.

What was your 2017 like?

2018? Wait… What?

I can’t quite believe that it’s 2018 already. Last year went so fast, a lot of things happened, and now it’s suddenly a new year. With even bigger changes happening.

Christmas was spent here in the UK this year. The boyfriend and I have an agreement that we spend every other year here and every other year in Sweden with my family. It was quiet, but nice. On Christmas Eve we visited the boyfriend’s grandmother with a lot of the extended family, then had a nice Swedish-inspired Christmas dinner at home. On Christmas Day we went over to his parents’ house where we spent the day with them, his sister and her husband.

New Year’s I was working, so not much happening there.

I got some lovely Christmas gifts, which I just simply have to show off. I got other nice things as well, but I don’t want to photo spam you too much.

I got some amazing books.

Coasters in the shape of cats!

The boyfriend got me a Kindle!

An owl snow globe! Is it just me, or does it look a bit like Hedwig?

Who doesn’t need a Hogwarts sign with hooks?

Personal Update

So, it’s been pretty quiet around here lately – that’s because I’m spending hardly any time at the computer these days (and I’m too old to write anything longer than a text message on my phone), due to feeling exhausted (and uncomfortable) most of the time.

There’s a reason for that.

If everything goes well, there will be a Struggling Baby joining us in March 2018.

I’m happy, but also terrified.

It’s frustrating in a way though, because pregnancy seems to have exacerbated my chronic fatigue, and I’ve spent most of it being more or less passed out on the couch when not at work (and only barely staying awake at work). Which means that, again, nothing is being written or edited. I need to try to pick myself up for the last trimester and do as much as possible, because who knows what kind of time and energy I have once the baby arrives (methinks – very little).

Anyway, it’s good news. And lots of writers are parents, so hopefully I’ll figure out a new routine eventually where I can fit both baby and writing.

Struggling Baby, ETA March 2018.

#WIPjoy

During July I participated in the #WIPjoy game on Twitter, where each day you answer a question regarding your current work in progress. It was all hosted by the lovely Bethany A. Jennings (@simmeringmind) I chose the novel I’m currently revising, and used the hero, Nathaniel as the main character for those prompts. Below are all my answers for the tag.

1.Describe yourself and your WIP!

I’m Emily, I recently moved to England, and I write various genres of romance. WIP is a regency romance, first of four.

2.Your MC’s aesthetic in 7 phrases.

Nathaniel – dark eyed, rake, honorable, loving brother, responsible, dark suits, sandalwood soap

3.Your first inspiration for this WIP.

Lots of regency romances and an old idea.

4.Three books that go nicely with yours.

Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen Anything by Julia Quinn, so let’s pick two at random; Romancing Mr. Bridgerton, and Splendid

5.A line in which your world comes alive.

6.Would you rather: get trapped in your story for a week, or have your antagonist enter your own life for a day?

I’d enter my story for a week – it’d be like a holiday to Regency England. But one week is enough, I do enjoy indoor plumbing!

7. A line where the plot thickens.

8.What would your MC be like as the antagonist?

As an antagonist Nathaniel would ruin others plotting and scheming because he doesn’t agree with what they’re doing.

9.What would the antagonist be like as the MC?

Christian Grey. Controlling and bordering on abusive.

10.Dish about a favorite side character!

Jacob, Lord Wortham, is one of the hero’s best friends, and is a rake with daddy issues. Sarcastic and enjoys annoying others.

11.What parts of this WIP are drawn from personal experience?

Probably some of the heroine’s shyness/struggle with crowds. The love and annoyance you feel for your siblings.

12.A line you nailed perfectly.

I found this incredibly difficult, so I just went with the first line of the novel.

13.Would you rather: never publish this WIP, or watch it be adapted into a horrible movie.

Bad movie adaption over never publishing any day. I still enjoy books even if they have bad movie adaptions!

14.Describe your MC’s personality with a GIF.

15.A line involving a decision.

“You could marry me.”

16.Choose an ideal reading spot, food, drink, and music to go with your book.

Under a blanket on the couch a rainy day, with chocolate and a cup of tea, the rain smattering against the window.

17.What’s something you’re still figuring out about this WIP?

I’m still trying to figure out/decide a title. And the surname of the main family. Because I don’t like the original one.

18.Share a thought that keeps you going as a writer.

I’ve been writing as long as I can remember, and I just don’t like who I am when I don’t. If I’m not a writer, then what am I?

19.A line that was hard to write.

I honestly don’t remember, it was a long time ago that I wrote it, and in revisions they ALL seem difficult!

20.Would you rather: have tea with your antagonist, or be stuck in an elevator for 3 hours with your MC?

I’d normally not want to spend time with antagonist, but I can’t deal with elevators. Will have to ignore him and drink my tea.

21.Why do you yearn to share this story with the world?

I guess I hope that someone else will love these characters as much as I do.

 

 

Taking the Summer Off

Lately I’m so incredibly tired that I’m not quite sure what to do with myself. I’m barely functioning. I don’t know whether it’s the heat, the lack of sleep/weird routines that come from working night shifts, or my CFS acting up – all I know is that I’m dead tired.

Combine that with my fibro getting worse again the last month or so, after having been fairly manageable for a while. It’s still not as bad as it could be, for which I’m grateful, but it’s making some things harder than they need to be.

All of these things affect my mood as well. Which is not unsurprising. When you don’t have the energy to do any of the things you want to do, or set out to do – you feel like a waste of space.

And so, in an effort to let myself off the hook and to give myself some space to recuperate and hopefully get some energy back, I’m taking the summer off from writing. I don’t want to set myself up to fail, because it’s soul-crushing to do so. I’ve done it before, and it was a hard thing to come back from.

I will still be around, blogging when I have something to blog about, and probably writing down ideas and things for whatever I’m writing on. And sure, if I suddenly have a burst of energy, I’ll do some writing/revising. But I won’t set any goals for July and August, because I know I would fail them.

Some people say that you have to write every single day, and as much as I’d like to do that – at the moment it’s just not possible. Sometimes you have to realize what’s going on with your body and your mind, and take care of yourself. So that’s what I’ll be doing.

I’m sorry!

I apologise for any spam that might have happened to anyone who follows this blog by e-mail notifications. See, I realised that I had only been posting to another blog and not this one (while it was meant to be cross-posted), so I ended up adding everything tonight.

So, I’m really sorry about any potential spamming! I am finished, now, I promise!

July To Do List

I’m trying to get (somewhat) organised, so I thought I might make myself a list of what I need to do this month to hopefully help. The chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia sometimes makes it difficult to focus on things, and remember things, so having it in list form sometimes helps.

  • Revise as many chapters as possible.
  • Sort through Shutterstock account and buy stock photos.
  • Buy paint and paint brushes.
  • Paint living room.
  • Arrange Wattpad account.
  • Edit Wattpad story for publishing in July or August.
  • Prepare guest room for family visit on 20-28 July.
  • Participate in #WIPJoy on Twitter.

What do you have to get done during July?

Blog Dilemma

I’m struggling with a decision.

Basically, I have too many blogs. I have a personal blog where I tend to put everything, including boring day to day stuff. It’s possibly somewhere in between a personal journal and a blog, and I enjoy keeping it since I’ve had it for over ten years. It’s nice being able to go back to it and see what happened when etc. (Especially since my memory is terrible.)

Then there’s this one, which I haven’t updated for a while since I went back to my original blog (above) while trying to decide what to do.

Then there’s my future author blog. Which at the moment is pretty much empty, since I’m not writing there yet, and even when I do – it might mainly be news updates about new books etc.

The decision I’m trying to make is basically how many blogs to keep.

Option 1: Keep only personal blog and author blog.

Option 2: Keep all three blogs, cross-posting non-personal stuff on The Struggling Writer and personal blog. Author blog still just book news etc.

Option 3: Same as option 1, but author blog basically turns into The Struggling Writer with those types of posts posted there.

Option 4: Merge personal blog with The Struggling Writer, meaning all posts end up on TSW (author blog still only just author blog.)

I’m really struggling with this decision, so if anyone has any input, feel free to give suggestions!

Naps > Making decisions

I’m not here

When you’re reading this I will have arrived in Spain for my much needed holiday. I won’t really be around for the next week, but should be back to posting again after 19 June.

Let’s hope for sunshine, both for me and everyone else, wherever you are! (Unless of course you hate sunshine, then I hope for whatever weather you want for your location…)