Your argument is invalid

So… I came across this on my Facebook feed the other day.

spanking

Whenever I see these, I have to grind my teeth. You know what? I was never spanked as a child, and guess what? I also have respect for others. So do a lot of people who were never spanked. There are also a lot of people out there who were spanked, who don’t have respect for others.

So, really. Your stupid post means nothing.

If we’re going by the logic in that image, then we can pick any random thing that happened to you and say that it formed you in some way. Then pretend like because it had X effect on you, it should have the same effect on everyone else. Sure, the post doesn’t explicitly state that people who are spanked have respect for others, and people who aren’t don’t. But it’s heavily implied.

I just don’t think that corporal punishment automatically makes someone a better behaved person. If anything, I’m leaning towards it just making you fear your parents, rather than actually understanding the difference between good and bad. You just know that you shouldn’t hit your little brother because then someone will hit you.

I don’t know. I know corporal punishment is very common in a lot of countries. But I just don’t think it’s the answer to why people are rude and misbehaved. I’ve seen kids that I know are spanked who are equally rude and misbehaved to kids who aren’t.

Since the difference seem minimal at best, I’m just tempted to say there’s no point to corporal punishment. Admittedly I’m biased, since I live in a country where corporal punishment is illegal. Funnily enough though, our kids aren’t less well-behaved than others. (Come on, most kids are little monsters, no matter what!)

What do you guys think? Do you think corporal punishment make for more well behaved children?

Facebook Pet Peeves

I never used to be on Facebook, but I’ve broken down and now check it a couple of times a day probably. With family living in various parts of the country, and friends in all parts of the world – it just seems like the easiest way to keep track of what they’re doing. I guess I’m nosy. Or a Facebook stalker. Whatever works though, right?

Anyway, as I’m hanging out on Facebook, there are some things that really annoy me when I see them. And I’m not even talking about the billion game requests – I’ve now learned how to hide/ignore them. It’s the inane things that people post sometimes.

“Like if you’ve ever…”

The posts where they tell you to like/share if you’ve ever done <insert random thing that 90% of the people on FB probably has done> or if you’re against cancer or some other serious illness/condition. Cause come on, who’s not against these things? And do I really have to “share this” if I love my mom. We all love our moms, we don’t have to prove it to you by sharing a picture/status!

facebook-like

“I’m a…”

This seems to be very popular at the moment. I get to know what flower everyone is, what bird they are, which colour, which supernatural being. These tests are so stupid, I clicked on a couple – and the questions don’t even make sense! It’s all just random stuff. I don’t understand how people can find these funny! And even if they do, why would you feel the need to share your result? Does anyone really care if you’re the colour blue, should be a redhead and that you’re an owl.

Adults acting like pre-teens

These statuses mainly seem to show up on my Swedish feeds, but I’m assuming they exist in English too. They’re basically a list like: “Like if you would want to hug me, Share if you would like to kiss me, Comment if you would like to date me”. I’m sorry, but surely that’s pre-teen stuff for you to find out if that cute guy in your class actually likes you? Not something for adults to do? Especially adults in serious relationships, cause why would they care if someone wants to date them??

Parents who have to prove their love

This one really grinds my gears. Some parents out there (I write parents, but to be fair – it seems to mainly be moms) seem to have the need to prove how much they love their children. Not by writing about the children or sharing stories about their parenting. But sharing inane little images about how much they love their child. “Share this if you love your son/daughter.” I don’t doubt that you love your kid(s). I don’t think anyone does. Why do you feel that you have to show it to us on FB all the time? If it was once in a while, I’d not really think about it. But there are some people who seem to post these all. the. friggin’. time!

loveyourchild

Passive aggressiveness

You know the ones. People who complain about others without naming them, but it’s very obvious it’s aimed at someone. Even more funny is when someone complains about passive aggressiveness, and being passive aggressive about it themselves!

passiveaggressive

Wanting attention, and yet not…

Look. If you don’t want to talk about something… Don’t post about it on facebook! I never understood why people would want to post something vague, which they must know people will ask about… and then just not want to explain.

dontwannatalk

Bonus: Facebook App on your phone

I have the FB app on my phone, though I rarely use it. Even less now that they put it into two separate parts. No, Facebook! Just no! I am not willing to download a separate app to be able to chat with my friends. The first app had both, I don’t see why you had to split it into two. So I’m now refusing to download the new chat app, which means there’s not much use in having the first on my phone either.

Do you have any Facebook pet peeves?

 

The Thing About Dicks

I was talking to a friend earlier, and we were discussing this interesting problem that we sometimes face as women. The innate need of some men to show off their dicks.

You can be having a nice conversation with someone on the phone through texting, then suddenly… you get a dick-picture. No warning. You’re not even necessarily flirting. And there it is. Staring you in the face.

What is it with these men? How does it work out in their mind?

“We’re having a nice conversation. She’s being totally cool and chatting with me… I think it’s time for the dick!”

Why would you ever think that’s the logical next step?!

No offense guys, but dicks aren’t that pretty. They’re not exactly aesthetically pleasing. It’s not like a woman will take a look at your dick and be instantly horny. Most of us just aren’t wired like that. Try chatting some more. If you think that it’s time to show a woman your dick. Think again. Unless she’s asking you to, keep it in your pants!

Venting

I normally try not to air dirty laundry online, but right now I’m so incredibly frustrated…

My brother has two children with his ex. The second one was born in January of this year, and they’d been broken up since… well, a couple of weeks before she was created. They stayed good friends through all of it though, up to and including her birth. My brother friggin’ delivered the baby in the bathtub! And for the first two weeks of her life they lived together, since it was easier and better for everyone. They continued being friends, with him visiting pretty much every day after she went back to her place – wanting to stay close to his children (and they’ve been good friends, as I said.. hanging out etc.)

They were agreed that they would have joint custody.

Then they had a falling out. A combination of him saying he wanted to try again (as a couple) and her actually meeting a new guy. My brother’s been mainly nice about it, but she’s switched to a completely different person. Acting cold and suddenly saying he never cared about the kids. When it came to the day to sign the custody papers, she went from having been all for joint custody to suddenly saying that she wanted sole custody. Standing there, with the joint custody papers in front of them at the social services office… was the first time my brother even heard about this.

When asked why she didn’t want to have joint custody (it should be noted that they already do on the older child), she said “He’s not nice to me.”

Excuse me? He’s been trying his very best to be nice and accommodating. And yeah, I know he’s snapped a couple of times, but who wouldn’t when someone is changing from being your friend and confidante regarding your children to suddenly being someone who’s trying to make everything as difficult as possible. Not to mention… It doesn’t matter! It’s about the child’s relation to its parents, not the relation between the parents. And while they may not agree on everything, the visitation/him having them has never been an issue. (Except for once when she refused him visitation one day.) It’s not an excuse.

I don’t know how it works in other countries, but in Sweden we have to separate things in regards to children. Custody; the legal rights regarding education/daycare/medical/legal… everything. Visitation; you actually getting to see your child. It’s fully possible to have no custody, but still getting to see your children as much as 50% of the time. But any sane person, naturally, would want joint custody to ensure that they have the legal right regarding all of the things concerning their child. If you only have visitation the other parent can do pretty much anything they want, and you have nothing to say.

Not only that, but in Sweden we have a full 480 days of parental leave, and each parent gets half. With her having sole custody my brother gets nothing. Which means less time to hang out with and bond with/take care of his new baby. Their original plan, that they both agreed to, was that he would take two months during the summer. He’d have the baby, and she could visit as much as she wanted to, and of course have her a couple of times a week like my brother does now. Because it was agreed on, he’s already gotten the time off from work and everything. But now it’s all falling apart since he’s not getting the parental leave – and naturally can’t be off work with no income for two months.

I can’t help but feel that she’s being very selfish. And for no reason. She won’t even tell him why he’s “not nice”. He’s asked several times, cause he can’t figure out what he’s done that’s made her so angry that she’s done a full 180. But she refuses to answer. She’s also refusing counseling provided by the social services to help with these kinds of disputes. Basically leaving him with no other option than to sue for joint custody. Which can easily take a year or more.

I wish they’d change the laws here. When a child is born, joint custody is only awarded automatically if the parents are married. Any other time the mother is automatically awarded sole custody (even if living together with the father). I think that as long as the papers proving that you’re the father are signed – you should get joint custody. And instead you should apply if you want sole custody for some reason. Fathers shouldn’t have to jump through hoops to have legal rights regarding their own children.

Sorry, I think I’m done ranting for now. I’m just really angry, since he’s been trying for weeks to make her change her mind – and her just refusing to even discuss it or explain her reasons for not wanting joint custody.

Male Privilege

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a huge post on male privilege per se. I’m just annoyed after reading through forums again. Maybe I should stop reading forums, cause I swear I never read anything good in them!

Basically, I saw a post in which a guy was whining about feminists talking about male privilege, because OMG there is no such thing and really women have all the power. His reasons for saying that women have all the power?

A man and a woman both go to a random club. Which one is going to get flooded with phone number requests and which is going to have to work hard to get the attention of the opposite sex?

And which of the two can get laid with virtually zero effort?

So… I guess there is no such thing as male privilege because… lo and behold, women can get sex whenever they want. How did I not realise this? O M G. This totally takes away all the other injustices!

Male privilege isn’t about which gender has an easier time getting laid. And even if he wanted to use that as his basis, it’s simply a faulty statement to begin with. I don’t want to throw personal insults, but I can’t help but wonder if he’s met with little luck when going out himself, and that made him decide that women had all the power. Maybe he’s just hitting on the wrong women… Then again, he doesn’t sound like someone I’d like to talk to in a bar.

A very attractive woman may get propositioned a lot when going out. That isn’t necessarily a good thing. I imagine it can be rather tiresome. Especially if the men will be all grumpy because she doesn’t want to immediately have sex with them. Cause I guess she should just say yes to anyone or it will be female privilege?

A very attractive man, I suspect, has an easy a time getting laid as a very attractive woman.

For the rest of us… Ranging in the average to ugly scale. I imagine getting laid is similarly difficult for both men and women. As a less attractive woman (by society’s standards), I seriously doubt that I’d have an easier time getting laid when going out than a guy of similar looks.

The whole argument is just ridiculous. I could happily argue who has a better chance at getting laid (though I suspect it’s very similar), but I can never agree to say that it has anything to do with male vs female privilege.

Ugh, seriously?

Have you seen the new Veet commercials? Apparently not shaving/waxing will now turn you into a man. Because women can’t/shouldn’t have any hair on their bodies.

http://jezebel.com/horrible-new-veet-ads-if-a-lady-has-hair-on-her-legs-1560720940/

It disgusts me that we’ve not come further than this, but a company can feel that they can make a commercial like this one. A woman is trying to hail a cab, and the cabbie won’t stop and take her cause OMG she has hairy armpits! And that’s just one of them, there are several more – all equally disturbing.

I didn’t even know that being seen as a man was an issue. I’ll sometimes go out without shaving my legs (to be fair, I get off easy since I have very fine, light hairs and I doubt anyone could tell without coming really close), and no one’s mistaken me for a man yet! Nor have I felt like one. And I certainly never worried about turning into a dude.

You know what, fuck you Veet. I’ll shave/wax when/if I want to, and not because you’re trying to make me think I’ll turn into a dude if I don’t.

If you’re going to rant about immigrants, at least make sense!

As in many countries that take in immigrants and refugees there are a lot of grumbling in Sweden about it. Most people understand why it’s done, and the good that it does, but there are always people who are unhappy about it. People who think that the refugees are the sole reason for increased crime, every rape, lack of this or that for Swedish people and so on and so forth.

While I will agree that Sweden’s immigration politics could be improved, mainly in the integration section, I have absolutely no issue with us accepting refugees, and in fact think it’s a rather good thing. When I read articles or posts written by people who disagree, it bothers me that most of the time they can’t even make a good argument for why we shouldn’t accept them.

For example, this popped up on my Facebook feed the other day. (Yes, it’s in Swedish.. sorry!)

OMG WHIIIINE

OMG WHIIIINE

 

Basically, the person is linking to an article about immigrant housing, with the comment “NOW THE SWEDISH PEOPLE ARE LOSING THEIR SUMMER HOMES, NO ONE REACTS”.

I clicked through to the article, which basically said that there’s a lack of immigrant housing in Sweden (a known problem). In one town they had some condemned houses that were about to be torn down, but then instead got used to house immigrants. A good change, right? Instead of demolishing them, they are now getting used by someone! But no, the writer was actually sitting there crying because these houses weren’t torn down, instead some money had been spent on making them livable (surely from the immigration budget) and they’re not being used. Boohoo, right?

Now, apart from the ludicrousness of the article in and of itself.. Where does the Facebook poster get the idea what the Swedish people will lose their summer homes?? A summer home or summer cabin is a small house that you own and visit during the summer. It’s not like someone’s suddenly going to come and say that they’re taking your home and giving it to immigrants! These were condemned houses about to be torn down! No one lived there.

I can only assume that the summer house comment was due to a small note in the article where it was mentioned that due to the lack of suitable apartments/housing, at times the Immigration has to put immigrants in campings and similar. I’d say that’s quite different to people losing their summer homes. Not to mention… How many regular, Swedish people do you see renting a cabin at the camping in winter? I can tell you.. not many! It’s not like living in a camping cabin is a nice place to live… It’s doable for a week or two during vacation. But who would ever want to do it for a longer period of time?

But yeah… I guess you had better go and lock down your summer home, cause I’m sure Immigration will come knocking any moment and taking it from you…

Remove Religion!

Earlier in August a local politician somewhere in Sweden put in the motion that Religion should be removed from the school curriculum, because in his words; science has come so far and we know that God doesn’t exist anyway.

I heard about this during a radio show, and they were mocking the entire idea, only discussing various funny ideas about whether God existed and other subjects that could be removed if we didn’t believe in something.

The thing is though, and I don’t know if this goes for other countries as well, but in Sweden, the Religion subject in school really has nothing to do about whether or not you believe in God. It’s to teach the kids about the various belief systems that are out there. Learning the differences and similarities between them, and hopefully gaining a better understanding of other cultures.

Whether or not you believe in God yourself is irrelevant.

Listening to the radio show and not hearing anyone make that connection was incredibly frustrating. Though the politician suggesting the removal of the subject beats everything of course. If nothing else, to me it shows a clear lack of understanding what the school is actually teaching the kids. Surely a politician should know better? And if they don’t.. I don’t know.. Educate yourself?

To me, removing Religion as a subject in school would be a horrible change. While we’re not overly religious in Sweden, I think it’s important to learn about religion and religious views so that we can understand those who are. I’m an atheist myself, but I feel comfortable being one because I have learned about a lot of the various religions and had the freedom to make up my own mind.

Knowledge is power, and I think that knowing about other people’s culture and belief systems (religion) is important in understanding them and leads to less prejudice.

This bothers me…

So, a friend and I are having quite a disagreement about this image that he linked me. Let me show it to you…

commercial

Aston Martin ad

 

Okay, so I consider this pretty horrible. It’s sexist and it compares women to used cars. Something to be owned by and used by men. Something for men to play with. While my friend says it’s “just a joke”. The thing is, while it is a joke; that doesn’t make it any less sexist. The more we accept things like these as “just funny”, the more we’re saying that this is okay.

Because while you can argue that it could, just as well, have been an ad with a near-naked man and a similar text when there was something women would want to buy.. (cause why would we want an Aston Martin…? Hello, stereotypes!) There usually isn’t. If you look at the ads out there. The majority turn women into sexual objects, perpetuating the myth that a woman is not a being, she’s a toy for men to own and play with. I’m pretty sure that if you would compare ads… It’d come back with 100 to 1 in sexualised, sexist male commercials. If not a bigger difference.

Just because something could have used a nude man, doesn’t mean that it does. And the fact is that it rarely ever does. Women are almost always the ones used for ads like this. And while this one is in a more bad taste than most… It’s something that we see all the time. Saying that “sex sells”, doesn’t cut it for me. Because sex is going to sell for as long as we allow it to. We make excuses for it, and allow it to happen.

I’m sorry, but I don’t find the above image funny. And it bothers me that my friend does.

Now, it should be noted that the above image actually isn’t a real ad for Aston Martin. (In case the wrongly spelled “Pre Owned” didn’t tip you off already.) That doesn’t change the fact that people are bandying it about as something funny though. And it’s actually based on a real ad by BMW.

BMW Ad

BMW Ad

Now, BMW didn’t use a playboy image for theirs, but the message isn’t any less clear. This woman has, oh my god, slept with other men before you. But she is hot, so you wouldn’t really care. The message is the same as the fake ads, just with less skin.

My friend and I have disagreed before. Then it was about this. I found the commercial incredibly annoying, while he said it was “just fun” and “making fun of stereotypes”. No, I don’t think that commercial is funny, I don’t think it’s making fun of stereotypes. If that’s the intention, then it’s doing it badly.

If you want to see a commercial that’s making fun of stereotypes, then I would say that this is a good example. This I find funny.

Seriously?

So, I came across this some time ago, and was rather disgusted by the views expressed by the CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch.

yuck

 

This was in an interview in Business Insider. Other, lovely quotes were:

“Abercrombie is only interested in people with washboard stomachs who look like they’re about to jump on a surfboard”

“I don’t want our core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing our clothing.”

This bothers me in so many ways. I guess it’s up to a clothing brand to decide which sizes they want to sell their clothes in, but to actually go out and publicly say that they don’t want larger sized women to wear them… That’s just taking it too far.

It also bugs me, because he’s basically saying that if you’re overweight, you can’t be popular or cool. So they won’t let you wear their clothes. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure there’s no universal law that says you can’t be popular if you weigh a few pounds too much.

Not only that, but it seems to only be aimed towards women, because the men’s clothing exist in XL and XXL. So I guess larger men can be popular, but not larger women?