After lots of back and forth, I decided to move everything from my old blog to this one. It’s too much work to update two different blogs, and I just can’t do it. It’s not like I’m a prolific blogger in any case, and two blogs is just not a possibility for me.
Originally this blog was meant to be mainly for writing, but I am someone who likes to
overshare write about my every day life, so I struggle to not do that. So it’s better to just have everything in one place. The name of this blog makes more sense as well. As much as I love the name “Carpe Effing Diem”, I think this one is more me. I’ve never really been one to seize the day as it were, I’m a worrier and someone that has to think about things before I do them. Preferably for days or weeks.
The Struggling Writer sounds a lot more like me. I
am want to be a writer, and I struggle daily. Not just with writing, but just about everything, really.
So from nowon, this will be the blog I use, where I will share things about my life and my struggles with writing, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia and everything else.
I’ve just imported everything from my old blog, so while I sort through about 10 years of blogging, it may look a bit disorganised, but I will get there, I promise!
I’ve been thinking back to how I was writing before I got sick ten years ago (and everything fell to pieces). What has changed? Why am I struggling with writing to the extent that I am?
Ignoring the fact that I have chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia, why can’t I pull myself together to do these things? Or is that the reason in itself? It can’t be. I know people who suffer from these things and they do get writing done.
Working full time for the last year and a bit for the first time since before I got sick is definitely not helping. I have limited energy, and currently it feels like all of it is going towards getting to work and doing my job. When I’m home, very little – if anything – is left. Not working, however, is not an option – because of that pesky detail of paying bills.
After a busy week, I just spent a whole day in bed. So energy levels definitely aren’t at their best at the moment.
The one thing other than my illnesses that I know is different is that I had a friend/colleague that read my chapters as I finished them. I think on some level that helped me feel motivated to keep going. Writing a book, as any writer knows, is a sludge and a rather lonely process. You have no idea if what you’re churning out is terrible or at least decent. (Most likely terrible, there’s a reason there’s a revision process!)
Still, having that one person who read each chapter as I wrote them – it kept me going. And it gave me an idea if I was on the right track, because she’d question things if they didn’t make sense and some things I could then nip in the bud instead of possibly missing them during the revisions/editing. I definitely miss having that.
None of this helps with my lack of energy, and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Truth is, I have no solution, I think maybe I just needed to vent.
If you have a chronic illness of some kind, how do you get through it and find the energy/ability to write?
It’s Monday! Let’s “celebrate” with a YouTube clip! This one is from Screen Junkies, where they’ve had artists make new themes for TV shows. The Michael Bolton one at the end is definitely my favourite. If you don’t have time to watch the whole thing (honestly, the first few aren’t nearly as good), skip to 3:12 for the Bolton bit.
Here are the few photos I’ve published on Instagram throughout August, all of them taken in Sweden.
Early morning on my way to the airport to return to England.
The lovely piece of cake I had on my birthday.
View of the lake in my old hometown.
A photo from the evening I was down on the west coast.
Another view of the lake from my old hometown.
A view of the other lake by my hometown.
August went by with a swish, and I can’t believe it’s already September. Where has this year gone? Wasn’t it just Christmas?
I spent half of August in Sweden visiting family, which was absolutely lovely, but means that I’ve done pretty much nothing else. The time before and after I was working my busiest weeks, which means I was either sleeping or working.
Still, while this summer has been difficult due to me having had nearly zero energy, it’s been really nice having family visiting, and then going back home to Sweden to see everyone who couldn’t visit. I did give myself July and August off from writing due to the energy issues mentioned, but it is now September which means that I need to find some energy somewhere and get going. I want this book revised and ready!
I hope everyone else has had a lovely summer, and I will try to get back to more regular updates again.