Not Having Childen

I read this article in which they’ve collected the responses of twelve women on why they don’t want to have children. It’s amazing to me that in this day and age, it’s still such a strange thing for a woman not to want children.

Having children is such a huge job, and takes up pretty much all of your time. I can fully understand that not everyone wants to make that commitment. A lot of days I’m not sure I want to make that commitment.

It’s strange though, why it’s always women who are asked. Once you’re of a certain age, people will generally ask if whether you’re planning/want to have children. But only if you’re a woman. I rarely, if ever, hear anyone ask a man the same questions.

Why is it that women are meant to want to have children, and men not? Maybe we should just not ask people things that in the end, really is none of their business anyway. (Not to mention, it can be an extra touchy subject if it’s actually someone who does want children, but has issues conceiving.)

If you actually answer “no”, when someone asks if you want to have children though – there is usually no end to them trying to convince you otherwise. (I used to say no, I had a period in my life when I was very much against having children.) Especially people who have children themselves. Is it that misery loves company? They’re sleep deprived, so everyone should be sleep deprived?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure having children is great and is very rewarding. But I don’t think we should assume that everyone wants to have them. Not even if they’re women.


Not Having Childen — 2 Comments

  1. I think women get asked and men don’t because there is still the implicit assumption that women will be the primary caregiver, so it will be a way bigger effect on her life than her partner’s. Men’s life are presumed to not change before or after children, so no one thinks to ask them.

    It is a similar reason men get promoted more often than women. If they have kids, it won’t affect a man’s work ethic, but a woman will work way less, naturally.


    • It’s a shame that it has to be like that. At the same time, someone has to take care of the kids.. but it shouldn’t be assumed that the woman will do it, which is still the norm.

      I notice it a lot at work, how women just automatically care for the child while the dad goes to work. When a kid is sick, it’s almost always the mother who calls in to work and says she has to stay home. Hardly ever the dad.

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